House in Therapy
by Benjie17
Summary: Originally a fictional analysis. 5 sessions of House in a psychiatrist following "Bombshells" but taking place before "Moving On". Going into House's issues. Wilson & Cuddy are discussed. Written in script format. Complete! Hope you enjoy. R&R PLZ!
1. Chapter 1

**House and his Psychiatrist**

**Author's note:** As you know, lately, _House M.D_. became controversial among millions of fans. The episode "Bombshells" was the last straw for a lot of unhappy fans that were already dissatisfied with the way the show was written on this season 7, especially regarding House & Cuddy's relationship and the way it didn't provide a supposedly good enough exploration of House's numerous issues. While other many fans are happy with these last turns of event (House & Cuddy breakup & House relapsing), a lot of fans voiced their dissatisfaction loudly. Interestingly, this was not a "Huddy" thing. A lot of non-shippers were also saddened and unhappy with this whole season and this last twist.

On Barbara Barnett's blog, there was and still are a lot of different comments made about the show's turn of event. They are all very well articulated and interesting: lots of different points of view, lots of different theories, speculations and wishes for a great debate.

As a non-shipper who is still interested in the show, I was fascinated by these passionate reactions. I find that all these people have good points. Now, I could have written another article on the controversy regarding the last two episodes or about the H/C relationship. I decided not to because that doesn't interest me. I believe that a season makes sense only when it is finished. However, I am interested in this debate and in all those arguments. That is why I decided to do this crazy thing: a fictional analysis.

This is a new form of analyzing the show "House". Instead of just repeating the arguments and theories that I read to put them in an article, I decided to use my ability (& talent I hope) to write screenplay to actually put those arguments in an analytical form. Since I'm a fan of the show _In Treatment_ what else could I have done but make House speak to a shrink?

I read about how people were saddened that House's issues weren't explored while in the relationship and how he seemed to have just regressed instead of evolving and confronting his problems once and for all. Some fans even expressed the wish to see House in therapy again.

Some fans were also wondering what was the point of the show if indeed "people don't change" and if it means that House is just doomed to be miserable and was supposed to remain that way from the start. There was also a debate about Shore saying House was back to square one. Did House change? Will TPTB really forget all the steps that House took successfully in his journey? Is there a nuance between changing and evolving?

Some fans speculated that this relapse will/should have a repercussion on House's job. Considering what happened last time can Cuddy really let House work at the hospital and treat patients while he is back on Vicodin? Would the Board have something to say about this and about Cuddy's involvement in all of this?

I didn't judge any theories or arguments here; instead, I just thought that maybe I could place most of them in a script form so we can imagine what could happen to those arguments in a fictional world. This is not to be taken as a fanfiction. For the record, I don't read fanfictions, let alone write them. I guess you can take it as such since it is purely fictional but it wasn't my goal while writing it. I highly doubt that fanfics are written in screenplay format.

I wrote three sessions so far and plan to do one or two more perhaps even one with both House & Cuddy. I hope to have not written House too out of character. Also note that after what happened with Nolan and this relapse I doubt that House would be willing to take a chance on therapy again. So here I made the Board threatening his job if he keeps taking Vicodin.

The arguments and theories placed in here are not really mine. I just took them as I understood them and adapted them for the script. I have to thank Barbara Barnett, Ruthinor, SeraG, DebbieJ, Delia_Beatrice, Commited, HouseMDfan, bigHousefan, FatOLady, Eileen and EVERYONE at Barbara's blog (they are so many I can't name them all and I'm sorry). And also all the fans on Twitter.

**A/N 2:** Okay now this season is over but still a lot of people are unhappy. I must admit to have been disappointed myself in this season that I consider less interesting than the previous ones and less well balanced. Now that the season ended in the way we all know, my fictional analysis is so far off the wall that I didn't know what to do with it. I was told that it then could be taken as a fanfiction so I could try to post it here. I wrote the Five sessions. One is with House & Cuddy.

I owe a huge thanks to Anotherdavis on twitter for this.

Hope you'll enjoy this!

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><p><strong>House in therapy <strong>

**First Session**

Interior. Psychiatrist office. Day

_House is sitting on a couch at a psychiatrist. He is silent. His face is inscrutable. Everything in his demeanor screams: "I don't want to be here". The psychiatrist is sitting on an armchair opposite House. He looks comfortable and relaxed. It is obvious by their act that they have faced each other for at least a few minutes now._

**Psy:** Since you have no intention to participate in any discussion, may I ask you why you came?

**House:** You know why I came. You've read the file. You've seen Wilson.

**Psy:** Yes. I'm aware of your personal situation and your current problems at work. And I know coming here was sort of a favor asked by Dr Wilson. My question is: since you obviously don't want to be here, why accept and do this favor to him?

_House doesn't answer. The psychiatrist remains calm and seems to accept the silence pretty easily. _

**Psy:** Dr Wilson must be a good friend for you to do that particularly unpleasant task.

**House:** He's my best friend but he's wrong. Look, no offense but this will do nothing for me.

**Psy:** Why do you think that?

**House:** I don't think, I know. Been there, done that. As you already know.

**Psy:** You think that your drug relapse negates your previous therapy entirely?

**House:** DUH! (somewhat scornfully) Therapy is crap. It doesn't work. You can't help me. Nolan couldn't and I don't see how you could be any different.

**Psy:** You mean he failed.

_House looks up. He is a bit taken aback and curious._

**Psy:** When you said that it didn't work and that Dr Nolan couldn't help you. The way you said it, it suggested to me that you feel that he failed to help you. Is this why you appear to be bitter? You think he failed you?

**House:** Don't try to 'shrink me'. You're all faith healers to me. That's what I meant.

**Psy:** So, it is just that you had faith at some point and you feel it misled you. Dr Nolan made you believe in something positive for you and perhaps you think he deceived you. Do you feel cheated? Is that what you mean?

**House: **(as if talking to a child) No, I mean that I know that you think you can help me but you can't.

**Psy:** I have no idea if I can help you or not. How can YOU be so sure?

**House:** Because I can. Trust me, I know. (With disdain – "the heal" – and as of it is something he heard a lot lately) You can't heal me.

**Psy:** That's an interesting way to say this.

**House:** No, it's not.

**Psy:** Have you ever considered that psychiatrists don't really want to heal their patients but try to make them want to heal? That perhaps my goal here is to make you heal yourself?

**House: **(can't believe his ears) Oh come on! That's BS, we both know that.

**Psy:** Why? Don't you want to heal? Don't you want to get better? Or maybe you already planning for failure and you want to make it my fault. Just like with Doctor Nolan, it would be my personal failure. Think about it. Is there any chance that this so-called failure was also your own? Don't you think that if you feel that the therapy didn't work, it may be because you didn't really believe it would?

**House:** That doesn't make any sense. A minute ago you said I believed!

**Psy:** No I never was that positive. I asked if you believed and subsequently felt let down. The only thing I know for sure is that you are the one who quit therapy. It was your choice to leave not Dr Nolan's.

**House:** Yeah because it wasn't working.

**Psy:** According to you. Now that you relapsed in your old habits, isn't there really a part of you that wonders what would have happened if you didn't quit therapy?

**House:** No there isn't. I didn't relapse immediately after leaving therapy. I was even happy after that. So I really don't think it's related.

**Psy:** Okay. Maybe it's not related. Why do you blame Dr Nolan then?

**House:** (angry) I don't blame him! I'm just saying, it didn't work. It's not a criticism it's a fact. It didn't change anything. It didn't change me. People don't change.

_Silence. That last statement makes the psychiatrist think._

**Psy:** Are you familiar with the idea that a concept can be really accepted only if we can consider that its opposite also exists?

**House:** You mean like no love without hate?

**Psy:** Yes something like that.

**House:** Sure yes. (House is interested despite himself) Why?

**Psy:** Okay, so based on this principle, one might say that if you're so insistent that it didn't work and that it can't no matter what, it means that a part you acknowledges that it can actually work. (beat) What do you mean by "people don't change". Define change.

**House:** I mean we can't change who we are. We can try but we can't really change our nature.

**Psy:** Okay. I kind of agree with that. Do you think we can evolve?

**House:** Sure, yeah, whatever. It doesn't change anything. We can't change who we really are.

**Psy:** One might say that evolution is a sort of change. Don't you think we can evolve enough to change our lives a bit? Or at least that we can make it move from a place – sometimes a very dark place – to another perhaps more comfortable one? Don't you believe that we don't necessarily have to change our deep inner nature to change our lives?

**House:** This is just shrink crap. It has nothing to do with reality.

**Psy:** Really? As a doctor who apparently saw a lot of things, I would have thought you would be keener to acknowledge this nuance.

**House:** Yeah well… (Reluctantly) Maybe. But, you can see all the nuances you want it doesn't change the fact that I am right.

**Psy:** I never said you were wrong. I brought up this nuance because I thought it was appropriate regarding our discussion. (beat) When you said: "People don't change", it sounded like a "Universal Truth". It seemed to me that you said it as an irrefutable fact.

**House:** It is.

**Psy:** According to you. I guess a lot of people might disagree with you on that statement.

**House:** Yes cause they're morons.

**Psy:** Are they morons or do they put a different meaning on the word "change"? Perhaps it is just you thinking that everyone who disagrees with you on this is a moron. It's a much simpler explanation. They are just morons and you are just an arrogant jerk. That would be so simple that you clearly wouldn't need therapy.

_House doesn't answer. He becomes sullen._

**Psy:** What interests me here is that you are smart enough to know that our beliefs and certainties are deeply personal and formed by our life experiences. Yet, here you are, insulting people who disagree with you on those matters. What make your personal beliefs and certainties, universal and irrefutable truths? What make your own life experiences more important, truer and more valuable than the other ones?

**House:** (on the defensive) I never said that. Don't put words into my mouth. I didn't coin that phrase. I'm a better observant of the human nature than most people and my observations made me agree with that phrase, that's all. You agreed too. You said earlier that you agreed. We don't change even despite any evolution.

**Psy:** Yes, but that wasn't what I wanted to point out.

_The psychiatrist readjusts himself on his armchair._

**Psy:** Your life experiences are not better or worse than the others. They are not more valuable either even when what you've learned from them is totally the contrary of what others learned. Just as this, you can't state a fact or a truth without considering the opposite might be also true. It's exactly like the "It can't work" from earlier. For every person that believes that people don't change, there probably is a person who can say with absolute certainty: "people can change". Not everybody is a hopeless cynic Dr House.

**House:** (can't believe his ears) You really are throwing a Yin/Yang argument at me?

_The psychiatrist just shrugs. Silence._

**Psy:** Tell me about your friend.

**House:** Wilson? I don't want to talk about him.

**Psy:** Do you think he is particularly cynical? Is he as cynical as you?

**House:** No.

**Psy:** Then why are you friends with him? Surely you don't think he's a moron, otherwise you wouldn't be friends. (beat) Or maybe it's more complicated than you being just an arrogant jerk.

**House:** (angry) I said I didn't want to talk about it! Look I'm just here because of a favor for him. Okay? Not that I had any choice anyway, I'm on probation as you damn well know! You've read the file. You know about the relapse and the decision of the Board to fire me. So can you just prescribe me anti-depressants and put an end to this? After all, we established you're gonna be useless. So give me the prescription already!

**Psy:** So you can go to your friend Wilson and to the members of the Board and tell them that you were in fact here and try to get away with it? Do you really think that you will get away with it? I don't think so. This is just you quitting all over again. I won't give you that prescription. It doesn't work that way. But our time is up. You can go. I'll see you next week.

**House:** You can write whatever you want in your evaluation. I won't come back.

**Psy:** Oh yes you will. And not just because of the Board or Wilson.

_House and the psychiatrist look at each other eyes._

**Psy:** You want to prove me wrong.

_The psychiatrist starts to write some notes on a pad. House is still looking at him. Then, House turns and leaves silently._


	2. Chapter 2

Don't own House. Psychiatrist is all mine though.

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><p><strong>House in Therapy<strong>

**Second Session**

Interior. Psychiatrist office. Day

_House is sitting the couch in front of his psychiatrist who is sitting in his armchair. They are both silent. House doesn't look more cooperative than before. The psychiatrist looks comfortable._

**Psy:** (calm & amused) Silent treatment again? Not very new. (beat) Okay, tell me about Dr Wilson.

_House stubbornly remains silent._

**Psy:** You don't want to talk about you so tell me about your friend.

**House:** Why?

**Psy:** I don't know. He apparently isn't as cynical as you and he's not a moron. And he's your friend. How would you describe him?

**House:** As the one who would need therapy.

_The psychiatrist smiles at that._

**House:** Seriously! This guy is a mess! He is needy. He needs needy. He craves needy. Neediness drives his life. It's probably why he chose oncology… Anyway, he's an enabler.

**Psy:** That's an interesting way to describe him. All these comments about neediness. Do you really think that's why he became an oncologist? You think that's what his job says about him?

**House:** He needs to be needed. He is totally incapable of turning his back on a responsibility. He needs to be the guy who is here for you no matter what. That's pathological.

**Psy:** Lucky for you, I guess.

_House is surprised by this comment._

**House:** … Yeah.

**Psy:** What about you? What does your job say about you?

**House:** That I'm a brilliant jerk who loves puzzles?

**Psy:** I'm sorry are you asking me?

**House:** What, so you're the only one here who can answer a question withanother question? (beat) Anyway, that's what everybody says.

**Psy:** And you? What do you say?

**House:** It's not for me to say what my job says about me. I couldn't care less. I guess everyone's right. I'm a brilliant jerk who loves puzzles.

**Psy:** Does absolutely everyone think you're a jerk? Even your friend Wilson?

**House:** Oh yeah! He and Cuddy especially.

**Psy:** Dr Cuddy? Your boss? She thinks you're a jerk too?

**House:** Yeah. But I don't want to talk about her.

**Psy:** Fine. Why do you think your job says that you're a jerk?

**House:** Cos' all I think about are the puzzles. I don't care about patients. I don't care about hospital rules and ethics.

**Psy:** You just want to find the answer, no matter what.

**House:** Basically yeah. Caring doesn't cure. It makes you less objective. And the rules pffff… I really do believe they're here only to be defied.

**Psy:** And it works. You save a lot of lives this way. Your results speak for themselves.

**House:** Well yeah. Why do you think she keeps me here? I'm the biggest asset of her hospital.

**Psy:** She? You mean Dr Cuddy?

**House:** Yeah. You know who she is. The Dean of Medicine. Why do you think she hired me?

**Psy:** She's the one who hired you? Do you really believe, you being an asset is the only reason she did it?

**House:** I've just told you. I don't want to talk about her.

**Psy:** Okay, let's go back to the needing thing. You said Dr Wilson needed to be needed. Is that part of the reason you two are friends? Do you feel that you represent what he needs? Do you think your friendship is based on this neediness and that you fill this role perfectly? Perhaps a little too perfectly?

**House:** (defensive) What? What does that mean? No! Look, it was just a comment. You asked me to describe him, so here. Anyway, he's a good friend, okay? He's always there.

**Psy:** I was asking because you seem to be needed a lot. Think about it. Your patients need you to diagnose them, your best friend needs you because you're needy and your boss needs you because you're the biggest asset of the hospital. Everyone seems to need you and you said Dr Wilson was an enabler. That's what interested me. (beat) It makes me wonder if there is someone who doesn't need you. And what about you? Who do you need?

_House doesn't answer. He is clearly uncomfortable by this turn of the discussion._

**Psy:** It makes me think about what we said last week about you possibly getting better. In regards to your friendship with Wilson I wonder if you fear becoming less needy. Are you afraid that if you get better then you won't be what Wilson seems to need and subsequently lose his friendship? Are you afraid not to be needed? Not only by Dr Wilson but by Dr Cuddy too perhaps?

**House:** (too defensively to be convincing) I think that is a lot of crap. You think Wilson is responsible for my misery? You think I want to stay miserable just to please him?

**Psy:** That's not what I said and you know it. I've just asked about fears that you may have in your relationships. Something unconscious. I don't think it is a coincidence that you admitted for the first time that you were miserable just then.

**House:** (angry & sarcastic) As if it was a huge discovery! It's not an unconscious thing though, I'm more aware of my condition than you think. I even tried to get out of it.

**Psy:** Oh so now you even admit that you want to be happy.

_House rolls his eyes angrily. He can't believe he admitted that._

**House:** Well isn't it what all people want? Why shouldn't I want it too?

**Psy:** Exactly. Why shouldn't you? Why do you fear happiness? Do you think it would make you common? Are you afraid to lose what makes you special? Maybe you think that people won't like you or respect you as much if you were happy. Cos' you won't be special anymore.

**House:** I don't care if people like me. I don't seek their respect.

**Psy:** Oh I think you care very much about that. I think you care about respect and seek that. I think you want people to respect you for who you are and more importantly, respect you despite of who you are.

**House:** You're wrong. I don't care what people think of me.

**Psy:** I think there is a very good reason why absolutely everyone who crosses your path sees you as a jerk. I think you make sure people see you that way. It's probably a defense mechanism to keep people at arms length.

**House:** People see me as a jerk because I AM a jerk. Even Cuddy agrees.

**Psy:** I'm sure you are. Just like I'm sure that part of this extreme jerkiness is an act. I find it particularly odd that all the people you have any contact with – from just a person you bumped into on the street to your best friend – all have the same idea of you. I think you're so much uncomfortable with yourself and you care so much about how people see you that you make sure that they all see the same thing: a jerk.

**House:** You really think I have nothing else to do?

**Psy:** If you wouldn't really care about what people think about you why would you care if they could see you as you really are? Why put so much energy to create and maintain this "jerk" image? If it weren't important you wouldn't have to feel the need to claim that you don't care.

_House doesn't answer. He doesn't look at the psychiatrist; he is really uncomfortable._

**Psy:** She can see beyond the mask, can't she? (House looks up) Dr Cuddy. You said that even she agreed that you were a jerk. Does that disappoint you?

**House:** That's…..She…No. I AM a jerk. I always was. Cuddy has nothing to do with that. Why are we talking about her? I thought we were supposed to talk about Wilson!

**Psy:** I thought so too but for some reason you kept mentioning her. She's obviously very important to you, like Dr Wilson.

**House:** So is my mom and we don't talk about her! (angry) And you're pretending to be clueless again! You know who Cuddy is. You know about us so stop playing dumb. I said I didn't want to talk about her!

**Psy:** Fine. I just want to point out that I'm not the one who brought her up three times in the discussion. You did. You might want to consider the fact that perhaps you do want to talk about her.

**House:** (standing up) I don't! You're really full of it! You know about Cuddy, the pills… everything. You already have made up your mind about me. Just give me the prescription and we'll call it quits, okay?

**Psy:** No, I won't. I'm nowhere near a place where I can give you a prescription. And that's because I haven't made up my mind about you. (beat) Our time is up. I'll see you next week.

_House looks angrily at the psychiatrist who doesn't seem to care. Eventually, House leaves, slamming the door shut._


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay things get more heated here. House opens up a little more. This session is more chaotic but it was written that way. I think it's more realistic to have the psychiatrist drag information out of House than having House miraculously opening up. Note that I'm not a shipper. I'm not in favor or particularly against one pairing. I don't do favorite. This is about House and from what the show told us. Also, many arguments presented here were brought by many different people as I explained in my session 1 note. Somehow I think the people who hate the House/Cuddy will still manage to dislike me for this. Oh well. Hope You'll enjoy this either way. You can say whatever you want in the review section. :-)**

**Oh and I still don't own House.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>House in Terapy<strong>

**Third Session**

Int. Psychiatrist's office. Day

House is standing in a corner of the office, on the phone. Psychiatrist is sitting on his armchair quietly waiting. House then hangs up. He takes off his vest and puts it next to him on the couch as he is sitting. He then puts the phone in his vest's pocket.

**Psy:** Was that your team? Is everything okay?

**House:** Yes, sorry. Complicated case. I'm just giving my two cents.

**Psy:** Okay. Does Dr Cuddy know about this?

**House:** Yes and I still don't want to talk about her.

**Psy:** (sighs) I think you're lying but okay. Let's talk about your work.

**House:** What about it?

**Psy:** Well you told me that what it says about you is that you are a jerk who only cares for puzzles. At the same time you said you were so good at it that you currently are the biggest asset to the hospital. The latter suggests that you are proud of your job. You like it.

**House:** (interrupting) Yes! I'm great at it. Even on drugs I'm still the best doctor over there.

**Psy:** Okay. This is rather contradictory to the self-deprecating view of yourself as a jerk this work seems to confirm.

**House:** You don't think I can be a jerk AND a good doctor?

**Psy:** Sure. I'm just pointing out that as much as you like your job and as much as you are good at it, it is not enough for you to be happy. As much as you are proud to be defined by your job, as much as you think it is the most important thing, it doesn't fulfill you completely. You're still miserable.

**House:** Gee, thanks! You really know how to put your patients in a good mood. (beat). I never had good social skills. I accepted that long ago.

**Psy:** Never had any long time relationships? Even before what happened to your leg?

**House:** Yeah once. I lived with a woman for 5 years.

**Psy:** What happened?

**House:** She left me sometime after my infarction.

**Psy:** Okay. But before that you did manage to maintain this relationship this long. So it seems that after the infarction your social life got worse. Is that correct?

**House:** Yeah. I guess you could say that.

**Psy:** You are a pretty confident person. You have principles and you live by them. You're not afraid of making tough decisions. You are very sure of yourself as a doctor. Why are you not so confident in your life? Is that because of what happened to your leg and the subsequent breakup or does this go back way up before that, to your childhood?

**House:** (sarcastic) Oh don't tell me we're already at the stage when you have to make me spill about my mom.

**Psy:** I don't know. Do you want to talk about your mom?

**House:** No! You do, it's always about the moms for you guys.

**Psy:** That's not true. What about your father? You mentioned your mom twice now but you never mentioned your father.

**House:** (cold) He's dead. Nothing interesting to say.

**Psy:** I apparently touched a nerve here. I think there is something interesting to say. I even think you two didn't get along and that somewhat he may be responsible for your lack of self-worth.

**House:** Congratulations! You're so smart. (beat) So are we finished?

**Psy:** No. Describe him for me.

**House:** My dad? Why?

_The Psychiatrist doesn't answer but looks at House intently._

**House:** (reluctantly) Well uh… he was a military man in every way. Almost the cliché of it. He mixed up education and discipline. Never tolerated lies and was incapable of admitting any other opinion but his own. You were not allowed to fail with this guy. And yes we didn't really get along.

**Psy:** I guess you were the kind of rebellious kid who enjoyed ticking him off. Am I right? That's the reason why you always try to defy any sort of authority, isn't it? You want to prove to everybody that those rules are stupid. You only need your own.

_House's phone rings. _

**House:** (taking the phone out of his vest pocket) It's my team. I'm sorry I have to take this.

_The psychiatrist nods to House to "go ahead". House stands up and retreats to a corner, talking to his team. The psychiatrist takes some notes. After a couple of minutes House comes back to sit down on the couch. He puts the phone back into his vest's pocket. _

**Psy:** Everything okay?

**House:** No. Eventually it will be. Look all you want to do is talk about my dad? Because I could be more useful elsewhere, right now.

**Psy:** No we're not finished yet.

**House:** Look, I really have nothing more to say about my dad. Plenty of people have difficult relationships with their parents. There weren't only bad moments, okay? Anyway, he's dead now. I don't wanna talk about that.

**Psy:** (a bit frustrated) Yes you already made clear that you didn't wanna talk about anything.

**House:** Yeah well I'm not here voluntarily.

**Psy:** I know. So let's go back to your job. How did you get it?

**House:** Cuddy hired me. You already know that.

**Psy:** Was it before or after what happened to your leg?

**House:** After. She wasn't the Dean of Medicine before. And even then, she wouldn't have had enough guilt.

**Psy:** Why do you say that? I thought the only reason why she hired you was because she wanted you as an asset for the hospital. Now you're saying she acted out of guilt?

**House:** It was a combination of the two. Cuddy is guilt personified. She can't help herself.

**Psy:** (confused) Why? Was she there when you got your infarction? Why would she feel guilty?

**House:** She was my attending doctor at the time. (reluctantly and painfully) Stacy and her went behind my back.

**Psy:** Stacy was your girlfriend?

**House:** Yeah. Anyway, the doctors missed the diagnosis of muscle death for three days.

**Psy:** So it was really bad.

_House is mechanically rubbing his leg. _

**House:** (painfully) Yeah. Anyway, I refused the amputation and asked to be placed in a coma instead so they can restore the blood flow. Cuddy suggested a "middle-ground" solution and uh… Well, Stacy waited until I was out to use her proxy. She listened to Cuddy. And here I am.

**Psy:** From what I understand, your condition was really critical to say the least. They probably saved your life. But I can feel that it doesn't matter to you. They didn't respect your wish. That's always a big issue. (beat) You resented them for that, didn't you? Did you ever get past the resentment to accept the fact that they saved your life? Did you ever understand why they did that? Do you still resent Dr Cuddy?

**House:** I know why they did it. I don't resent her. (angry) Why are we talking about that? That won't give me my job back. I highly doubt it will change the way you're gonna write my evaluation to the Board. This discussion doesn't make any sense! First we're talking about my job then my dad and now Cuddy and my leg. What's the point?

**Psy:** I admit this discussion is weird but since you don't want to talk about anything I have to juggle and try to make the best of what you're giving me. These sessions could be more coherent if you were more willing to participate in them.

**House:** Oh so it's my fault? YOU said you wanted to talk about my job!

**Psy:** (frustrated but calm) I wanted and still want to talk about what YOU want to talk about. I mean what you really want to talk about but since you're lying to yourself, I have to drag the words out of you! (beat) Your job is connected to who you are, as a person, which is connected to your past. It's connected to your father and also to Stacy and to what happened to your leg, which is connected to Dr Cuddy. Don't you see that?

**House:** Yes but what does it matter? The board won't care! I don't! I just want my job back as normal.

**Psy:** (calm) I think you care. (beat) Okay… So how long have you known Dr Cuddy exactly?

**House:** Since College. Who cares?

**Psy:** I do. It explains a lot. You knew her way before your infarction. She was your attending doctor when you had your infarction, she saved your life and then she hired you when she was the Dean of Medicine. It seems you two were long time friends. Why implying that she was just a doctor wanting a big asset for the hospital, then? What was your relationship with her in College?

_House is not pleased with the way the conversation is turning. The psychiatrist is very frustrated with his patient. Things are heating up._

**House:** (defensively and angrily) What kind of question is that? Why can't you be straightforward? You wanna know if I had sex with her at that time? Just say it! What do you have to choose you words so carefully all the time?

**Psy:** (losing is temper and as calmly as he can) Choosing my words? What about you? You think I'm not aware of your act? I think if there is a person here who is being careful of his words and his behavior it is you. I think you are very careful about what you do and what you say so than people can see you the way you want it. You're constantly playing. I think you wanted to be the first one to refer to sex here. I think you couldn't help but testing me just like you probably always do with all the people who surround you and even like you. (beat) And all it did was to tell me that you indeed had sex with her but also that this relationship is way more important to you than you are willing to admit, so you can cut the crap. You love her.

_House and the psychiatrist are looking at each other intensely. They are then calming down. House is troubled and uncomfortable. The psychiatrist readjusts himself in his armchair, retrieving his calm._

**Psy:** How would you describe your relationship with Dr Cuddy in college?

_House doesn't answer. He avoids the psychiatrist's look._

**Psy:** All right. What did you do before being hired by Dr Cuddy? Where did you work?

**House:** I didn't. I was unemployed. Stacy left me. I started to take more pills. I got fired from four hospitals before Cuddy hired me.

**Psy:** Okay. It's my understanding that there wasn't a Diagnosis Department before yours. Actually this branch of medicine didn't exist before. I think Dr Cuddy invented it and I think she did for you. I believe it wasn't easy to do so; after all, it costs a lot and you take very few patients. (beat) Here's my thought: this is not something you do just to attract a future big asset for the hospital especially one with a reputation like yours. I think she did it for a friend. You were miserable, on painkillers and unemployable. I think she created this new branch of medicine because she knew it would be so appealing to you that you wouldn't say no. She did it for you. After saving you from death she then saved your professional life. The one you think is the most important.

**House:** (embarrassed) Yeah well, I didn't ask her to do it.

**Psy:** (smiles) You really hate owing her so much, don't you?

_House silently admits it._

**Psy:** I guess it answers the question: 'Who do you need?' (beat) You said you started to take more pills after Stacy left you. Was it the same thing after Dr Cuddy did? Is that why you relapsed?

**House:** (vulnerable) Yeah…. I mean, I took a pill so then she dumped me and then I took more pills.

**Psy:** Why did you take the pill in the first place?

**House:** I thought she was gonna die. I couldn't be there for her. I wanted to be there for her. I was.

_The psychiatrist silently asks for House to explain._

**House:** Okay. We thought she had cancer. I mean she had symptoms of metastasized cancer. It was bad. She had to have surgery to confirm. I wanted to be there for her. At her bedside.

**Psy:** And you found you couldn't do it without taking a pill first?

**House: **(still vulnerable) It was a mistake. I was scared, okay? And I did go to her bedside. But she figured it out. So she dumped me… Over one pill.

**Psy:** I doubt she did it just over the pill. Anyway this is related to the first time you started to take a lot of pills. In both cases you were feeling rejected by the one you loved and afraid of being alone. You're afraid of losing people close to you and you're afraid of loneliness so you use the pills as a coping mechanism. Except it doesn't work.

**House:** The loneliness is nothing. I've been alone almost all my life. I'm used to it. It doesn't have anything to do with my current problem.

**Psy:** There's a difference between being used to be alone and wanting to be alone.

_House's phone rings again._

**Psy:** Our time is up. You can answer and go save a life. But we will have to talk more about Dr Cuddy and your father.

**House:** Trust me it's better if we don't. Maybe you should talk to Cuddy. She seriously needs a shrink herself. Her guilt is driving her life and she never managed to have a proper relationship either. Maybe you'll find out that I'm fine comparingto her.

_The phone stopped ringing while House was talking. He stands up._

**Psy:** From the way you talk about her I think you two are more similar than you might think.

**House:** (unconvinced) Yeah right. (beat) Anyway, I went past my time.

**Psy:** It's okay. It was a good talk. You're making progress.

_House rolls his eyes, unconvinced while taking is vest on. His phone is ringing again._

**Psy:** I'm serious. When you phone rang you apologized for the interruptions. You start respecting what we're doing here. (beat) Go answer that. I'll see you next week.

_House pensively takes the phone out of his pocket. He then leaves while taking the call._


	4. Chapter 4

**Here are theories about possible backstory. I also took the liberty to use informations & a very bit of dialogues in past episodes: "Ugly" 1st and then "Son of Coma Guy" It helps me to give substance to the arguments. I guess if your a House/Cuddy hater you will resent me for this but, in my mind, shipping isn't relevant. Hope you'll enjoy! :-)**

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><p><strong>House in Therapy<strong>

**Fourth Session**

Int. Psychiatrist office. Day

_House enters the office, limping. Psy greets him then sits in his armchair. He observes House taking his jacket off and putting his cane down. Then__House sits, rubbing his right thigh._

**Psy:** More pain?

**House:** Yeah, lately it's worse. And no offense, but you're not helping.

**Psy:** Well I don't treat physical pain.

**House:** Oh no? You finally came to the conclusion that the whole "physical pain is related to emotional pain" thing is crap?

**Psy:** No. I do believe that it is related and I believe your leg pain worsened when your emotional pain worsened too. I just meant that my job requires time.

**House:** Yeah, see, I have a problem with that. It shouldn't take that long.

**Psy:** Maybe not but it does.

**House:** It sucks.

**Psy:** True. (beat) The pain got worse after she broke up with you, didn't it?

_House doesn't respond. He doesn't seem to like the way things start here._

**Psy:** You know it's a simple logic that in therapy, the more you talk the less time it takes.

**House:** You're also gonna tell me it's in my head?

**Psy:** No but I do believe that the way you feel influences your already existing physical pain.

**House: **(sighs) I manage. Work is a good distraction. I can focus on something else, you know. But lately it's been more difficult. Of course the fact that I can't do my job properly doesn't help either.

**House:** Well, you kind of put yourself in this situation on your own. Did you discuss this with Dr. Cuddy?

**House: **(bitter) She won't protect me from the Board if I don't do this. She never talked about therapy before, certainly not when we were together but now I have to do this to keep my job.

**Psy:** She won't protect you or she can't protect you?

**House:** Both I guess. What difference does it make?

**Psy:** Are you angry with her? She took your happiness by breaking up with you and now she takes your job unless you do therapy. Is that it?

**House:** Vicodin or no Vicodin I'm still the best doctor. No therapy will change that. And she knows it. I shouldn't be here. I should be doing my job. The Board never understood that.

**Psy:** But Dr Cuddy does. Perhaps that's why she recommended therapy in addition of you quitting Vicodin. The Board didn't fire you yet because of it.

**House:** Doesn't matter, I still can't really do my job. Might as well be fired.

**Psy:** Your team still consults you a lot as I understand it. You seem to still be involved in your job.

**House:** It's not the same. And anyway, it gave her and Wilson an excuse to make me go to therapy.

**Psy:** That's what they did? I thought at least Dr. Cuddy never mentioned therapy to you before, that's what you said.

**House:** Yeah but since I went back on Vicodin they've been on my neck. Wilson convinced her I needed a shrink. He does that.

_The Psychiatrist looks as if he wanted to answer this but stops quickly to remain silent. He is thinking._

**Psy:** So you blame them for your current situation?

**House:** No, I'm just saying that's what happened.

**Psy:** When I listen to you all I hear is you saying that Dr. Cuddy is responsible for your current misery and relapse because she broke up with you, Dr. Wilson is responsible because he apparently dragged Dr. Cuddy into a conspiracy to make you do a therapy you don't want to do. What is your responsibility in all of this?

**House:** I know I shouldn't have taken the pill. I know I'm responsible but that's who I am.

**Psy:** So it's their fault for not taking you as you are? That's how you sound like. It is their fault if you're in a very dark place right now?

**House:** (a bit vehement) No! That's not what I mean. I screwed up. I just thought we could get past it. I could do better.

**Psy:** And you can't anymore? Perhaps they want you to do this therapy because they care about you and that knowing you as they do, they think you still can do better.

_House sighs, unconvinced._

**Psy:** You said earlier that Dr. Cuddy never mentioned therapy while you were together. Did you wish she had? Would you have wanted it?

**House:** (beat) I don't know. I just think it's odd she's pushing me in that direction all of a sudden. I mean, I know she negotiated that with the Board but still, it won't necessarily save my job so…

**Psy:** You didn't think she cared anymore?

**House:** I don't know. She didn't think I needed a shrink before that.

**Psy:** I ask again, did you want her to ask you if you wanted therapy?

**House:** I don't know. No, I don't want therapy, I just... What difference would it has made?

**Psy:** I don't know. Perhaps a part of you thinks that it could have saved your relationship.

**House:** This is ridiculous.

**Psy:** Really? You really sure you can tell me with absolute certainty that you didn't wish she proposed therapy for you as an alternative to the breakup?

_House doesn't answer._

**House:** What makes you think we would still be together?

**Psy:** Nothing. I'm just pointing out that you wish you two could still be together, no matter what.

**House:** Yeah well, you can't always get what you want, right? (more for himself) Maybe it was just too late.

**Psy:** (intrigued) I'm sorry? Why do you say that? Why was it too late?

**House:** I don't know, it's nothing, forget it.

**Psy:** No. Why did you say that? Is this a reference to what happened between you in college?

**House:** Oh for God's sake it was 25 years ago!

**Psy:** Yes and it is apparently still very vivid. What happened?

**House:** (vehemently) Nothing! We met, I tracked her down, actually she tracked me down too and we had a one-night stand. Nothing much to say.

**Psy:** You tracked her down. So you liked her. (beat) What did you mean exactly by "actually she tracked me down too?"

**House:** Just that. We noticed each other. Actually she noticed me first but you know what I mean.

**Psy:** You did it again. It's like you're not so sure of those things or that at least you weren't at that time. You didn't know she tracked you down? When did you realize it?

**House:** Well it turns out I have no recollection of our first meeting so…you know. (beat) She told me a year and a half ago how we met and that she tracked me down.

**Psy:** So before a year and a half ago you didn't know she liked you too back then?

**House:** No, well yes, I knew she liked me. She slept with me willingly. (beat) Anyway it doesn't matter, I had to leave college the next day so…. I mean, it wasn't as if we were in a relationship.

**Psy:** Why did you have to leave? Did you finish your studies?

**House: **(announcing, a bit like proud) I was expelled! Believe that?

**Psy:** (smiles) Actually yes.

**House:** Yep! Just like that. A minute I was in her room early in the morning, silently getting dressed to go buy breakfast and the next minute I was in the President of the University's office telling me to go pack my things. Crazy.

**Psy:** So it wasn't supposed to be a one-night stand. Not for you anyway.

**House:** I didn't say that.

**Psy:** Yes you did. You said you were getting dressed silently before going for breakfast. I believe that being careful to not wake-up your partner to surprise her with breakfast is hardly a thing you ever done for just a one-night stand.

**House:** Well it doesn't matter because I just left and never called her back. That's it.

**Psy:** So Cuddy never knew you meant more with this than a one-night-stand?

**House:** She does now. I told her a year and a half ago. Why are we talking about this? It's got nothing to do with Vicodin. It was way before.

**Psy:** Well you're the one who addressed this and yes it's not related to your Vicodin addiction but I think it is important. I think it is very revealing of your fears and relationship issues. I guess leaving her like that was just simpler. You just avoided the issue of your relationship status with you away, which means you were already avoiding being hurt.

**House:** Who cares? You can't change the past.

**Psy:** I think it says a lot about your current problems.

**House:** Maybe so but it won't change anything. You maybe think that people can change but I don't. What Cuddy and I have is way more complicated than you think. It's not something you can repair just like that.

**Psy:** I'll say.

**House:** I don't want to talk about it anymore; it's done. I lost her like I lost Stacy. I'm fatally screwed up that's why I'm better off alone. It's not new, it's the story of my life. There I said it, now you know everything. Can we change the subject now? How about you tell me when you will give me the prescription and write to the Board that I'm a good guy deep down and a good doctor so I can have my job back? That's a good subject.

**Psy:** We're not finished. Now we're back to your self-loathing and your childhood. I suppose you still don't want to talk about your father?

**House:** Leave him alone. He did what he thought was right. He's dead now.

_Silence. Psy and House look at each other._

**Psy:** Why did you become a doctor?

**House:** Patch Adams.

_Psy doesn't respond. He just looks at House pointedly and patiently._

**House:** I saw a Buraku practicing medicine once when I was in Japan. He was just a janitor so basically he was nothing but he knew that the other doctors needed him sometimes for lost causes so he couldn't care less about how he was treated. He knew who he was. The other doctors couldn't do anything to him because of that, of his gift in medicine.

**Psy:** And you decided you wanted to be this Buraku? To be the one not touched by the way he is treated thanks to a higher knowledge and a gift in a domain. You found your way to escape your father's strictness and judgement, the mockery of some of your friends perhaps and also the loneliness of always being the new guy at school due to the numerous moves. Suddenly you had the key to not care about any of those things. (beat) Do you think the Buraku created a personality to mask his real feelings and refusing to acknowledge them or is this just your version of being a Buraku? Do you think he was as miserable as you are now?

**House:** How should I know? What kind of question is that? I was fascinated by a Buraku at fourteen so suddenly the only reason I'm a doctor is to escape my father and feelings or whatever you've just said? I like the medicine and I like my job, you know. I wouldn't have chosen to do it otherwise.

**Psy:** I never pretended you would, but you said that you were fascinated by how he overcame the way he was treated by the other doctors. How he was sure of himself and of his gift. That's what fascinated you. I think that's part of why you became a doctor. You said it yourself actually: you don't care what other people think of you and you're still the best doctor of the hospital.

**House:** Well, yeah… Yeah.

_Silence. House passes his right hand on his neck; he seems tired and in pain. His hand then goes directly to his right thigh. _

**House:** Is our session over?

_The Psy looks at the clock on the left wall._

**Psy:** Yes it is. I'll see you next week.

_House then puts his jacket back on, takes his cane and leaves the office quietly._


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay Folks, that's a wrap! This is the last session and this one is special because Cuddy is in it. Note that this was wrote before the season Finale so I'm sorry but no talk about House crashing his car into Cuddy's home. Why bring Cuddy in here then? You migh ask. Well, because I always considered that cuddy was a fairly screwed-up character herself. She really has some deep real issues. I then thought, since both House and Cuddy were similar in the "good-at-my-job-but-suck-at-social-life" front, that it could be interesting to have them interract in front of a psy.  
><strong>

**I guess I could write something like this taking place after the Finale woth House and the Psy. Perhaps even one with Cuddy (assumming it's taking place long after the Finale) but so far that's all I wrote and I'd rather to deliver it as I was thinking it at the time. Especially that, again a lot of arguments weren't mine only but coming from a whole bunch of people. So here. The ending is purposefully left open. You can imagine whatever you'd like to happen after this session. I hope you enjoy it. **

**I want to thank the people who took the time to read it and especially the ones who took extra time to review it. Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it more than you think. :-)**

**I don't own House (not even an appartment actually hahahahaha - not even ashamed for this one!) nor Cuddy but the Psy is all mine!  
><strong>

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><p><strong>House in Therapy<strong>

**Fifth session  
><strong>

Int. Psychiatrist office. Evening.

_The Psychiatrist is sitting on his armchair, relaxed. In front of him on the couch sits a very uncomfortable Cuddy. House is not there. _

**Psy:** You're sure you don't want something to drink?

**Cuddy:** Yes I'm fine.

**Psy:** You don't look fine. You look very uncomfortable.

**Cuddy:** I'm fine. I'm just wondering why I'm here.

**Psy:** Are you afraid of what Dr House might say or to be analyzed too? Perhaps both?

**Cuddy:** Well, he doesn't want me here and I'm not your patient.

**Psy:** True. I just want to talk to both of you. I think it will be useful for my future sessions with him.

**Cuddy:** Talk about what? I really don't see how my presence here will be any useful.

**Psy:** Really? It's strange because you seem to have a very prominent role in his current emotional and professional situation. I think you know that.

**Cuddy:** Yes, but whatever I say won't change the situation. That's why I'm not in therapy.

**Psy:** Have you tried to change the situation between Dr House and yourself?

**Cuddy:** What do you mean? I sent him here to save his career, didn't I?

**Psy:** Yes but that's not what I meant. Did you really talk to him about you two and your current relationship?

**Cuddy:** There isn't a relationship anymore.

**Psy:** I know. I wasn't necessarily referring to a romantic relationship. (beat) How are things going since the break-up?

**Cuddy:** Fine….. Weird. He didn't take it well. That's why he's here.

**Psy:** How did you take it?

**Cuddy:** Well, I'm the one who ended it. I mean, I'm not happy about it but I don't regret it either. I can't help him.

**Psy:** Is that part of the reason you were in a relationship with him? To help him? I'm asking because it seems that you are helping him right now.

**Cuddy:** Yeah, no, I mean…I can't fix him.

**Psy:** Is that what you want?

**Cuddy:** I'm pretty sure that's what he wants. Or at least what he wanted. Look I'm not comfortable talking here without House. I mean he's your patient so….

**Psy:** Yes. I understand. He's not usually late.

**Cuddy:** (surprised) Really?

**Psy:** Yes, really. (beat) Are you afraid of what we might talk about?

**Cuddy:** Should I?

**Psy:** I don't know. Should you?

**Cuddy:** Oh great we're in the "answering a question with a question" phase already.

_Psy laughs a bit at this. Cuddy frowns, not understanding._

**Cuddy:** What's funny?

**Psy:** You talk like him. It is really interesting to see how similar you and Dr House are.

_Cuddy rolls her eyes. House enters the office. _

**House:** Sorry I'm late….

_House stops abruptly when he sees Cuddy sitting on the couch. He frowns and looks at the psychiatrist._

**House:** What is she doing here?

**Psy:** I asked her to come.

**House:** I know. I told her. We agreed this was MY therapy.

**Psy:** Yes and I was sure you wouldn't want her here so I called her personally.

**House:** Why? Why not call Wilson, my mom and my team too, huh? Have a real audience.

**Psy:** She's not an audience.

**House:** Seriously? That's your plan? I refuse to talk about her so you invite her along?

**Cuddy:** You do realize that I'm sitting right here, right?

**Psy:** Yes, I'm sorry about that Dr Cuddy. Dr House, please sit down.

_House looks at Cuddy and then at Psy. He slowly and reluctantly takes his jacket off and sits down next to Cuddy on the couch putting his cane away._

**Psy:** Okay good. (To House) How's your leg?

**House:** Hurts, as usual.

**Psy:** Okay. I wanted to have the both of you here because I'm interested in your interactions and your lack of interactions. Dr Cuddy, obviously I won't disclose any subjects that Dr House and I discussed. I will only say that you came up several times, among other people, but I have some questions regarding your role in all of this.

**House:** Oh, cut the crap!

**Psy:** It's not crap. It occurred to me that you two could have totally different recollections of a same event and neither of you seem to be really reliable on this. I still need to have a clear picture.

**House:** Wait a second…. Are you still talking about college?

**Cuddy:** College? It was 25 years ago! What does it have to do with anything?

**House:** (to Cuddy) Nothing! He's just bugged that I don't remember how we met.

**Psy:** It's not that, actually. I'm interested in the fact that Dr House was wrong about how it all started between you two and that you, Dr Cuddy, seemed to be wrong about how it ended. It begs the question: what else are you two wrong about your recollections of a shared event? On how many situations and actions did you misunderstood the motivations? I want you to think about that.

**Cuddy:** Okay…

**Psy:** It really opens a new perspective about what happened to his leg doesn't it? One day Dr Cuddy you might want to tell him your own version of it.

_House and Cuddy look at each other with insecure interest (A/N: if that means something, that's how I view it)._

**Psy:** College. The leg. How could those important events become taboo? Another question I'd like you to think about.

_Both House and Cuddy look thoughtful and a bit in shame_.

**Psy:** Dr Cuddy, why did you hire Dr House?

_House is actually interested._

**Cuddy:** (uncomfortable) Well, I had just become Dean of Medicine and it was my job to make this hospital the best place I could for both patients and doctors. House was in a very difficult situation. After Stacy left he was uncontrollable, but I still knew he was a great doctor and a great person. (House chuckles – to House) yes I thought so and I still do! (continuing the story) Anyway, I discovered that there was a sort of blank in the medicine. You know, people who were dying without us really knowing why? I just thought that it shouldn't be. I mean in a hospital there are a lot of specialists. And I just thought: how come they can't come together and try to see what went wrong with those people? Then I thought of House. (watching House) He was always passionate about everything in medicine. You know, always reading about new stuff or reading files of docs to see if they didn't miss anything… (to the psy) I knew there was something to be done and I knew he could do it.

**Psy:** Must have been a tough sale to your Board.

**Cuddy:** It was.

_Silence. House and Cuddy look in front of them._

**Psy:** Were you on friendly terms at that time?

**Cuddy:** Yes. We always were.

**House:** We already established that.

_Psy observes House and Cuddy for a bit._

**Psy:** (to Cuddy) Did your decision get anything to do with what happened to Dr House's leg?

**House:** Of course it did! I already told you about her guilt.

**Cuddy:** Well of course it had something to do with his leg, he went uncontrollable after that. My guilt wasn't the only reason, though.

**House:** Oh common! Admit it!

**Cuddy:** (to House) Yes I felt guilty about what happened to your leg. Okay I admit it but I wasn't responsible for you becoming crazy enough to be fired from four hospitals. I saved your life whether you want to admit it or not. (beat) Also, I have as much to say about your overly resentment as you have about my legendary guilt. You're not so much in a good place to talk to me about guilt!

**Psy:** (to Cuddy) Why do you say Dr House is not in a good place to talk about it?

**Cuddy:** (to Psy) He didn't tell you about his guilt over losing patients? It drives him mad, he's always wondering what he could have done differently. It eats him. And I'm only talking about strangers. You can imagine when it's someone he knew.

**House:** That's got nothing to do with anything, we should go back to the matter at hand.

**Cuddy:** (to House) But apparently we are talking about the matter at hand. Guilt, right? (beat) You do feel guilty about your losses. All of them. You were in denial about Amber and with the combination of your dad and Kutner you ended up having a break down!

**House:** (to Cuddy) I was on too much Vicodin by then!

**Cuddy:** (to House) Which you took more to avoid what you were really feeling! That's what you always do! You use Vicodin to numb yourself down.

_House & Cuddy breathe, avoiding looking at each other. The psy observes this with great interest._

**Psy:** Okay. What you say about those deaths are interesting Dr. Cuddy. I would like to continue the discussion about guilt. Who were those people to Dr. House exactly?

**Cuddy:** They both worked under House's supervisions for a while. Amber as a potential employee. She was Wilson's girlfriend when she died. Kutner was actually part of House's team until he killed himself.

**Psy:** I'm sorry. (Beat then To House) In what way were you involved in those deaths?

**House:** I wasn't!

_Psy keeps his eyes on House waiting. House rolls his eyes._

**House:** I was drunk in a bar, called Wilson to come for me, Amber came but I just wanted to take the bus, which was hit by a trunk. Not my fault.

**Psy:** Nobody said it was your fault. Why do you think people believe that?

_House doesn't answer. Again psy observes him with great attention._

**Psy:** Did Dr. Kutner leave a note?

**Cuddy:** No. His death all surprised us.

**Psy:** So no answer.

_Psy looks at House. House doesn't react but is uncomfortable._

**House:** I don't feel guilty about any of them!

**Cuddy:** (to House) Oh please! You were just in denial but were mad about it. Not being able to save Amber was killing you just as the fact that you couldn't see any sign of Kutner's future suicide! (To psy) He always thought that he could save anyone and see everything. (to House) You have a gift House but that doesn't make you super human.

**House:** (to Cuddy) I know that!

**Cuddy:** (to House, angry) Really? So why do you get so worked up for the few deaths that happen on your watch? (beat. to the Psy) Did he tell you that I make him a worse doctor?

_Both House and Psy are startled. Psy is very curious. Cuddy keeps talking._

**Cuddy:** Sure he will always choose me 'cause I'm a good distraction! What a relief! He loves me which is good considering the fact that I diminish him. (directly to House) By the way, you lost patients way before we got together and you were always obsessed by it. And of course you just can't come to the people who love you to talk about it or even try to think about something else. I mean, hey after all Wilson is just a judgmental pain in the ass, and me? I'm not even a real doctor so obviously I can't understand.

_Cuddy is taking her breath and calming down._

**Cuddy:** (to House, sad) You know what the worst part is? It was probably the most honest love declaration you can do. You can't really just say you love me because every good thing has to come with a downside with you.

_House looks a bit startled and sad. Psy looks interested._

**Psy:** Dr. Cuddy actually brought up something interesting here: (to House) your incapacity of taking things as they are emotionally and to deal with them without thinking of a downside.

_House thinks about that. He hesitates before responding._

**House:** That's because there usually is a downside to everything. I'm not making that up. It's just the way it is.

**Cuddy:** (to House, a bit angry) Are you listening to yourself? So I do diminish you but that's okay? That's just the natural downside? Just like you taking a pill before coming to see me at the hospital is just a natural downside to the fact that you indeed came to my bedside? Is that it? The downsides are here because you make them and then focus on them. You're incapable of trusting people, not even yourself.

**Psy:** Again, Dr. Cuddy made an interesting point. What do you think Dr House?

**House:** (annoyed) I think Dr. Cuddy is so caught up in her fantasy of a couple and the idea of success that she puts the blame on everyone else but herself.

_This comment angers Cuddy. House and her argue angrily. Psy seems to recognize that as a crucial moment for both of them where harsh truths can be finally said. He just observes and listens with great interest._

**Cuddy:** Excuse me? I'm sorry to not think that I diminish you in anyway. This idea that I make you a lesser doctor has everything to do with your lack of self-esteem and nothing to do to with me, and you know that.

**House:** Yes I do! And you're obsessed with perfection! You're obsessed with getting what you want just the way you want it. The thing is, your standards are impossible to reach. I'm far from perfect but nobody can live up to your expectations 'cause they're too high and you don't easily forgive any missteps if at all!

**Cuddy:** Oh so you going back to Vicodin to gather the courage to come to my bedside was just a misstep?

**House:** No, it was a gigantic mistake. And I just took one pill.

**Cuddy:** Oh that's okay then!

**Psy:** Okay, this is truly interesting but I think you both need to calm down.

_House and Cuddy breathe and calm down while avoiding looking at each other. Psy takes notes. _

**Psy:** Okay, now can you finish your point? First Dr. Cuddy and then Dr. House?

**Cuddy:** A pill is never just one pill. An alcoholic doesn't take just one drink. It's not like that. When I confronted him about it he just said that: "it was just one pill, I can do better". It's not just one pill. It's way more than that.

**Psy:** Okay.

_Psy then looks at House._

**House:** She sees the world as it is and as it could be but she doesn't see the gap between those two. It makes her a great boss but at the same time it makes her having high standards for everything, including relationships. (To Cuddy) All I'm saying is, you push people to their breaking point too. You just do it in a different way than I do. (To Cuddy and Psy) I believe in spontaneity and chaos. I think they can be fun things from time to time.

**Cuddy:** This has nothing to do with spontaneity and chaos. Do you remember when you described to me why this relationship probably wouldn't work? I don't think it's a coincidence if everything you said actually happened. (to Psy) He has a past of pushing people away from him and sabotaging any good relationship.

**House:** (sarcastic) Says the girl with a one week long marriage! (serious, before Cuddy can respond) I didn't sabotage this relationship. (to Cuddy) You can't break it off with me and then say it's my fault.

_Cuddy is about to say something but the Psy silently stops her by a hand gesture._

**Psy: **Dr. House, do you really believe that Dr. Cuddy makes you a worse doctor?

**House:** No, I don't. I was drunk.

**Psy:** Can you understand that it makes you appear as someone who was in this relationship reluctantly?

**House:** I wasn't. Wait a minute, so it is all my fault? When she came to tell me she loved me she added that she wished she didn't. What do you make of this? I understood why she said it, I didn't make a fuss about it.

**Psy:** (to Cuddy) You said that?

_Cuddy looks uncomfortable and guilty._

**Psy:** Okay, so it seems that you both were in this relationship reluctantly.

**Cuddy and House:** No, I wasn't!

**Psy: **Yes you were. (beat) Everything that has been said here was really interesting and I believe fundamental to better understand both of you. I think you two have a lot in common, more than you might think. (beat) I think what we are dealing here is simple: fear. Fear of being alone, fear of being in a relationship. Fear to fail the relationship but also fear to succeed it. Fear of pain, fear of commitment. It seems clear to me that you both let your fears interfere a lot in your life and in your relationships. You both seek happiness but you also are afraid of it. Did it ever occur to you that the things you're afraid that might happen, end up happening anyway because you were frightened of them in the first place?

_Silence. House and Cuddy are a bit startled by what the Psy has just said. They both are in their thought, sometimes throwing a glace at each other._

**Psy:** This is a very deep issue and those are vast questions but I'd like you to keep them in mind. Especially you Dr. House since we're definitely gonna talk about your incapacity to trust people and consequently your fear to open up to them. We will also address the fear of your emotions. (beat) We're past our time so we're gonna end the session here. Dr. Cuddy thank you for coming, that was useful. Dr House, I'll see you next week, we can finally begin therapy now.

**House:** What? We weren't in therapy already?

**Psy:** No, not really. That was just me trying to know who you are and trying to understand the situation a little better, especially since your last therapy. Now I can say that not only you need it but also that you want it. Don't worry though, I'm gonna write my evaluation and I hope you'll be able to do your job properly again soon. See you next week. Dr. Cuddy thanks again. (beat) Oh and don't forget: the wise man always says: "the only fear that is worth experiencing is the fear of fear itself". I leave you with that thought.

_House and Cuddy are both surprised by this somewhat abrupt end of session. They stay seated for a minute while Psy gathers his notes and then stands up to go to his private desk. House & Cuddy then look at each other, beginning to assess to the importance of what happened here. Something subtle passes between them. While Psy busies himself on his desk, they both stand up and put their coat on, preparing to leave. Cuddy takes House's cane and gently and silently passes it to him. He nods his thanks and then they both leave quietly, House opening the door for Cuddy. _


End file.
